Recalculating

       Here at UMD I am coming up on finals week, as of the moment I am writing this there are 14 days 16 hours and 29 minutes until the end of my last final, but hey who’s counting?  Along with the excitement and anticipation of summer, the relief of the upcoming break, comes of course the stress of exams and actually passing classes.  I won’t lie to you (I have no reason to, plus it’s a sin) I am in real danger of failing a class for the first time in my life, ever.  This fear of failing has consumed me since I got my last midterm back and realized that I had not done well, at all, despite studying. 

picture via 94th Annual Missionary Church

       Luckily, I have the most amazing parents on the planet who have assured me that they will still love me even if I fail.  Even so, fear of failure is ingrained in me so deeply that even the possibility of having to retake a class is cause for full fledged anxiety and panic.  I do not handle failure well; there will be tears if I fail (needless to say).

       At the same time I have a strange sense of peace.  Tonight I ate dinner with my incredible friend and disciple Biz and we were discussing the upcoming end of our semesters.  I was sharing my worries about failing and I was reminded that God has a plan for my life.   I was reminded of the amazing outcomes of all the other times I have been anxious or stressed.  I just sat and marveled at the safety and comfort found in God and his plan for my life. 

       No matter how bad I mess up, ever, God brings beauty from disaster.  He can make all things new again and teach me a lesson through my failure.  Even if I take a wrong turn God just acts as my Holy GPS and recalculates. If I did not have this certain knowledge that my life is more than an Econ course (that can be taken again) then I would be utterly hopeless.  I praise the LORD for his plans and his saving hand.

      How is the end of the semester going for you? Do you have any big projects at work? Struggles at home?  Do you believe that God has a plan for your life? (He does!)  Comments? Suggestions? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below!