God Moments: This Is My Body

       This past January I was privileged enough to travel with about 70 of my closest friends to Orlando, Fl.  No, we weren't on our way to greet Mickey at the Magic Kingdom (although some did).  No, we were headed down south to join up with thousands of other college students at the FOCUS national conference.

       FOCUS is an incredible college ministry that I am honored to be a part of.  The national conference, SEEK, consisted of a week of daily mass, talks from some of the best Catholic speakers (i.e. Matthew Kelly, Chris Stefanick, Dr. Edward Sri, Matt Fradd, the list goes on and on), and fellowship.

Me, Catherine, and Holly with Chris Stefanick 

       Part of the planned itinerary was confession and group adoration.  As embarrassing as it is to admit, I was not looking forward to this event.  I thought, “Oh great stand in a huge line for confession and then sit all uncomfortable and bored in adoration for two hours.”  So I made up my mind to get to confession right away and miss the line, then go to adoration for an hour tops.

       I arrived early for confession and only had to stand in line for ten minutes, score!(people stood in line for literally hours)  When I was directed to confession I ended up face-to-face with who I am convinced is Jim Gaffigan’s twin brother.  It was a good confession and Father Gaffigan gave me my penance and sent me out into adoration.

       I walked out into the ballroom where adoration was being held and saw thousands of college students horded together.  I looked for my group, found them, and made a beeline to join them all the way in the front(sigh).  The place was so packed that I had to wedge myself in on the floor near the aisle. 

      From my spot on the floor I completed my penance and then sat for a minute wondering how long I should stay in order to not look like a total heathen, leaving after only a few minutes.  While I was planning my escape route I looked around again.

        This time I didn't just see thousands of people crammed together.  This time I saw thousands of my brothers and sisters sitting, standing, kneeling, and prostrating in worship.  I followed their gaze to the stage and for the first time since I entered the room, I really looked at Jesus, I saw him.

       I allowed my thoughts to turn to the conversation I had with my Dad on the way to drop me off for the trip.  My Dad is not Catholic and for the first time I asked him straight out, “why don’t you believe in the Eucharist?”  After some back and forth discussion he ended with this, “I think it is something that has to be revealed to you by the Holy Spirit, and it hasn't been revealed to me yet.”

       Sitting there, uncomfortably crammed on the floor, I asked God to reveal himself to me through the Eucharist and to reveal himself to my Dad.  Now, I have never heard the audible voice of God but sometimes I just know that I hear his heart speaking to mine.  As I sat in this thought, contemplating his presence, confronting any doubts I had God answered at least part of my prayer. Jesus spoke to me very clearly that day, he said, “This is my body, this is really me, if you deny the Eucharist you deny a part of me.  You have been given the gift of knowing the truth and you cannot turn away from it.  Holly, you can’t doubt the Eucharist without also doubting me.”

       So of course, I started crying (it’s a running theme in my life).  Then a multitude of priests began a Eucharistic procession all around the enormous ballroom with the monstrance.  At the very end they stopped right in front of me, being stuck at the edge of the group put me face to face with our LORD and savior.  I gazed at him and he gazed at me.  That, my friends, was a God moment.

      Adoration ended three hours after it began and I found myself wishing it would just go on and on.  What started as me following a schedule and planning a way to escape for a nap turned into one of the most important days of my life.  That day changed how I look at my desires, the mass, my life on Earth, and my ability to hear God.  So, no, I don’t hear the voice of God but when I hear his heart I listen.  

       Have you ever been to adoration?  Do you have any life changing stories from your experiences there? Have you heard the voice of God? Have you heard His heart?  Comments? Suggestions? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below!