Guys, my first confession, this has been the hardest post
for me to write. I have so many things I
want to say to you about the sacrament of Confession; it is hard to organize it
into one concise and coherent post. So
many things have contributed to my current relationship with Reconciliation
that I don’t know how to present them all to you, or which are most important
to share.
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| picture via St.Thomas Aquinas Church Charlotte, NC |
Basically I want to tell you all why I turned from a person
who had made up her mind to never go back to Confession into a person who tries
to go once a month. Honestly, the first
time I went to Confession since my required trip before Confirmation was
motivated my fear and guilt. Now, I am
completely motivated by love and honest to goodness contrition.
Have you ever noticed that when you say or hear something
out loud makes it more real? When I am
forced to look at myself as if it is judgment day and then utter aloud all the
ways in which I have chosen myself over God it makes my sins real to me. I can no longer justify to myself all of the
times I have allowed my pride to take hold of me. I can’t tell myself that I am
awesome because I am doing better than the other girls I see at college (which
I don’t actually know for sure). The
beauty is that the forgiveness also becomes real. When the priest says, “you are absolved of
your sins, go and sin no more.” I feel
the weight of my sin lifted.
I am sorry that I have had such a block tonight, I promise
to touch on this SUPER important topic again(once I can gather and organize my thoughts better)! But I want to leave you with
this: the sacraments are not for God,
they are for us. Confession is not a
punishment it is a gift.
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