Recalculating

       Here at UMD I am coming up on finals week, as of the moment I am writing this there are 14 days 16 hours and 29 minutes until the end of my last final, but hey who’s counting?  Along with the excitement and anticipation of summer, the relief of the upcoming break, comes of course the stress of exams and actually passing classes.  I won’t lie to you (I have no reason to, plus it’s a sin) I am in real danger of failing a class for the first time in my life, ever.  This fear of failing has consumed me since I got my last midterm back and realized that I had not done well, at all, despite studying. 

picture via 94th Annual Missionary Church

       Luckily, I have the most amazing parents on the planet who have assured me that they will still love me even if I fail.  Even so, fear of failure is ingrained in me so deeply that even the possibility of having to retake a class is cause for full fledged anxiety and panic.  I do not handle failure well; there will be tears if I fail (needless to say).

       At the same time I have a strange sense of peace.  Tonight I ate dinner with my incredible friend and disciple Biz and we were discussing the upcoming end of our semesters.  I was sharing my worries about failing and I was reminded that God has a plan for my life.   I was reminded of the amazing outcomes of all the other times I have been anxious or stressed.  I just sat and marveled at the safety and comfort found in God and his plan for my life. 

       No matter how bad I mess up, ever, God brings beauty from disaster.  He can make all things new again and teach me a lesson through my failure.  Even if I take a wrong turn God just acts as my Holy GPS and recalculates. If I did not have this certain knowledge that my life is more than an Econ course (that can be taken again) then I would be utterly hopeless.  I praise the LORD for his plans and his saving hand.

      How is the end of the semester going for you? Do you have any big projects at work? Struggles at home?  Do you believe that God has a plan for your life? (He does!)  Comments? Suggestions? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below!

This Time With Feeling!

       I grew up going to Catholic school and I recited the same prayers everyday.  I went to mass because that is what we did (unless we didn't in which case I savored my extra time in bed), and I prayed my rosary at night when I was scared.  I believed in God as much as a little kid with no concept of the “real” world could.

Picture via Faith That Moves

       I remember during communal prayers at mass hearing my mom really praying, speaking with feeling instead of following the groups predictable rhythm and monotonous tone, and being a little bit embarrassed.  I just wondered why she broke the norm, why did she have to stand out?  Now, looking back, I wonder why I felt embarrassed.  I don’t think it was because anyone else noticed. I am probably the only who recognized her differences but I did notice them. I think it was because I knew that she was talking to someone she knew and I didn't know them.  She has a relationship with God that I was lacking due to my childhood ignorance.  I didn't know God personally and I was embarrassed that I did what I was “supposed” to and still didn't have what she had.

       At the same time, I remember my brother referring to Catholic prayers as nothing more than poems.  I was so hurt by this assertion and I fought him on it (fighting him wasn't so unusual), telling him that prayers were more, they were how people talked to Jesus. The funny thing is that my mom who made me feel embarrassed with her personal prayers exhibited the relationship that I fought for yet lacked.  Now, I use my brother’s phrase to explain my view of prayer when discussing the matter with my Bible study, friends, or peers.

       I love how God moves in our lives from before the beginning.  He is building us up with little stories and memories like these ones to help us understand our relationship with him.  He gives us these little nudges.  He turns us from an embarrassed and argumentative little girl to the young woman praying loudly, with feeling, at mass or before a meal at a restaurant.  He gives us the opportunity to learn, to be stirred, to form our relationship, and to act on it, all in his perfect timing.

      What memories do you have of faith in your childhood?  How have these affected your faith now?  How do you pray?  Suggestions? Comments? Questions?

The Most Beautiful Creature

       Where do I even begin? I suppose I could begin with an apology for not posting on Tuesday, but I have the best possible excuse.  My beautiful and blessed niece, Jane, arrived at 9 am on Tuesday morning.  I was a little too preoccupied with the glory before me to write anything substantial down.

       I had just experienced a miracle and was taken in immediately by the amount of love I felt.  More love than I thought I was capable of.

The beautiful little Janie
with her Grammy, Mommy, and Auntie

       When I walked into that hospital room to meet this little marvel I was so overcome with her beauty that I began to cry (“What else is new?”, you ask) but little Jane was truly “the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld.”

       Like so many things, the birth of my niece turned my thoughts towards God.  My love seemed to overflow out of me without bounds, with no sign of stopping.  Now as I write this I haven’t seen her for 17 hours and I haven’t stopped thinking about her in that time, I think of how much greater God’s love is for each of us.

       This baby girl has the whole world lying at her feet.  She has endless opportunities.  She is a tiny little girl only a few days old, yet the LORD has had her in mind since the beginning of creation.  He has a plan for her life.  He knows her talents and desires even now, even before she does.  He knows how she is meant to serve him.  He knows the plan he has for her.  And God does not disappoint.

       What a beautiful thought as we gaze at those whom we love, to know that God loves us infinitely more.  How hard is it to even fathom a love greater than our own?  What a comfort to know that we are not each a meaningless coincidence of chaotic nature but we are a thoughtfully planned design with a future and a hope.

       A woman I work with had her baby the day after, she is 3lbs12oz and 8 weeks early.  Please pray for her.  Have you been introduced to a bundle of joy recently?  Any good birthing stories? Miracles? Comments  Suggestions?  Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below.

The Inconvenient Truth

           This past week has been one in which United States collectively held its breath.  We were struck by tragedy after tragedy and it seemed to many of us like we were abandoned.  On Friday night, after I heard that the person responsible for the bombing in Boston had been captured I was instantly relieved.  Then, I began to think about him.

picture via Gnesio

            I put myself for a moment in his shoes.  This week has not only been terrifying for us, but also for him.  I am by NO MEANS condoning what he is accused of.  I am by NO MEANS defending his actions.  I am however, asking you to look at him as a human being.  This is a 19 year old guy, he is younger than I am, he is accused of a horrendous act, he was hunted down by thousands of police and SWAT, and he watched his brother die.  What brought him here?  Why did he do this? Are we in the right to hate him forever? While he needs to be brought to justice will we ever find forgiveness in our hearts?

            Matthew 5:44 reads, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”  Our human nature is to wish ill to our enemies but God has given us a higher calling.  He has asked us to love our enemies and to pray for them.  This does not mean that we should just let everyone do whatever they want.  Love does not let you give in to your every desire; love calls you to be the best version of yourself. That my dear readers, is the inconvenient truth.

            So often in our society today we are told that love means “never having to say I’m sorry” and accepting everyone as they are.  But the Bible tells us that “love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, it endures all things.”  Jesus teaches us that love does not rejoice in wrongdoing and it is not resentful.  He calls us to challenge each other to be better through our love.  He also calls us to forgive.

            So I know that tolerance is preached (unless you have an opinion differing that of the “majority”) but the truth is LOVE.  So love your enemy, pray for this man.  Do not pray that he is set free because God does believes in justice, but pray that he can find healing in God’s love.  Although this man has been led astray Jesus Christ the Good Shepherd is out looking for him and he loves him just as much as you and me.  Isn't that a good enough reason to send our prayers out?

           My prayers go out to all of those affected by the Boston bombing, the Texas explosion, and the MIT shooting.

           How have you been handling this week?  Is everyone ok?  Can you think of grudges you are holding, not just this week but in general? Suggestions? Comments? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below.

I Do!

       This week I saw a video that led me to many “aha” moments. I am posting the video and I really think you should watch it because a) it is awesome and b) you will understand this post. SO, without further ado……
   
        I absolutely love this video! As a girl who is embarrassingly consumed with the idea of marriage the idea of Jesus Christ proposing to me was overpowering. I got super excited and it led me to create a bunch of other connections in my head (which is too jumbled for me to explain everything). Because I can’t talk about everything I thought about at once, in only one post, I am going to try to isolate one of my trains of thought for you to read today: Marriage and the Eucharist. This idea of Christ offering his blood to me as a proposal seriously overwhelmed me. I just love how God uses everything for his glory, even marriage traditions. I know that his choosing to present the Eucharist for the first time, in this way, was no coincidence.                      

       Consider a true marriage proposal. A man loves a woman so much that he wants to commit himself to her fully. He does this by asking for her hand in marriage. When he asks her to marry him he is committing to protect her, to offer up his life for her, to give his blood if need be. That is what Jesus is doing, he is saying I love you so much that I want to marry you, I want to commit myself to protecting you, I will spill my blood for you (and he did). Seriously, take that in for a moment.

        Then, he takes it a step further, he says not only do I commit my life to you, but I love you so much that I want to unite our bodies together. Just as a husband offers himself heart and body to his wife in their marriage, Jesus offers to unite himself with us. He offers himself completely to us through his body in the Eucharist. He gives himself to his church completely, even though we are and “adulterous” and “unfaithful” bride.
       
        Jesus wants us, wants me, to see him with the same wide-eyed wonderment that I view a Disney happily ever after. Guess what, Disney isn't real, God is. This is a real and true and eternal covenant that he is offering us here and we have the choice to push the cup away or drink up.
     
       Sorry if that made zero sense to you but at least the video is great. What did you think of the video? Do you like having a video to watch with the posts? Suggestions? Comments? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below!

Food For Thought

       I don’t know about you but I LOVE food.  Have you ever noticed how often Jesus uses food to relate to us?  I find it fascinating.  This is one of the topics that I absolutely love exploring during adoration and prayer time.  For me it is one of those mind-blowing Jesus thought of everything kind of topics.

clockwise: Eucharist, My sister's wedding cake,
bread, date dinner, energy bar

       Consider some of the connotations and associations that food posses in our lives.  Food is associated with hunger and alternatively satisfaction.  It is our source of nourishment, sustenance, and energy.  It is a sign of community and hospitality.  Food is what we share when friends and family get together.  What is the most common first date? Dinner.  Parents sacrifice to put food on the table and provide for their family.  Not to mention the comfort and pure enjoyment that comes from the act of eating.

       All of these things and more are associated with food and eating.  God, being the omniscient and infinitely clever being that he is, decided to capitalize on our feelings towards food in his ministry and in his continued presence in the Blessed Sacrament. 

       Something that I have noticed recently during my study of the daily readings is that for at least 3 of the times that Jesus revealed himself to his disciples after his resurrection he shared food with them.

1. In Luke 24 Jesus is walking along the road to Emmaus with two of his disciples, only they don’t recognize him.  During the journey he opens up the scriptures to them and gives them understanding.  When he acts as though he will continue on without them the disciples beg him to stay.  Jesus stays with them and reveals himself through the breaking of the bread.
2. Again in Luke 24 the disciples are gathered in the upper room talking about Jesus.  As they are speaking he appears in the room.    When the disciples didn't believe that it was really him, thinking it was a ghost, Jesus asked for food.  The disciples gave him fish and he ate.
3. In John 21 Peter decides to go fishing and the other disciples join him.  They catch nothing all night and at dawn a “stranger” on shore tells them to cast to the right.  They do and catch 153 fish!  Realizing it is Jesus Peter jumps overboard and swims to him.  When the disciples arrive on shore they see that Jesus is preparing breakfast for them.  He asks for some fresh fish, cooks it, and eats with them.

       I love that Jesus uses food to show us what we need to see.  In the first story he reveals his identity through the breaking of the bread (Eucharist).  In story number two he proves his humanity and true resurrection because a ghost does not eat, it does not have flesh and blood, he is truly risen.  In the final story Jesus uses food to show that he will still provide for us.  He helps them catch fish and then prepares and serves the disciples breakfast, sharing the meal with them.

       Finally, I want to talk about the Eucharist.  This is the “source and summit” of our Catholic faith.  In John 6:35 -69 Jesus presents his teaching of the Eucharist as his true body.  Jesus calls himself the bread of life that comes from Heaven.  The people in the crowd begin to murmur saying, “This is Jesus, son of Joseph.  We know his father and mother.  How can he say, ‘I came from Heaven’?”  Jesus then explained that whoever eats his flesh will live forever.  They are grossed out asking how Jesus can ask them to eat his flesh.

       In this passage’s original Greek there are two different words for used for "eat".  One is phago used in verses 50-52 this word in Greek means to eat or consume and can be used figuratively.  After the crowd begins to question his meaning and are grossed out Jesus changes the word he uses to trogo, this word means to gnaw or chew and was not used figuratively in the original language.  *Disclaimer: I am not a Greek expert I have learned this from studies I have taken via FOCUS. 

       The point is that after people are confused of Jesus’ meaning he clarifies by changing the word to make clear that he wants them to actually chew his flesh and eat it (Eucharist).  The Biblical account goes on to say that many of his followers walked away that day.  Jesus did not stop them.  He didn't say “no, no, hey guys that’s not what I meant!”, instead he asked the twelve if they too were going to leave.  Jesus wants all of us completely but he doesn't force us to follow him.  He presents his teaching and allows us to decide if we want to stay, or walk away.  This was his teaching; he wants us to eat his flesh.  He wants us to partake of his body in the sacrament of Communion.  Yet he let those people walk away, not because he didn't want them, but because they could not accept that the Eucharist was in fact his body. 

       Food plays a huge role in our lives.  This was not by accident but design.  The LORD uses all things to his glory and our love of and dependence on food is not excluded.  So eat, drink, and be merry!

       Can you think of other ways food impacts our lives? Bible Accounts featuring food? What is your favorite food, other than the Bread of Life? Comments? Suggestions? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below! 

 

I really like food. Candy counts right?
ps. That pic with the Kettle Cooked Lays was taken while writing this post.

Who Do You Say That I Am? : Prince of Peace

“Lamb of God you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.  Lamb of God you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.  Lamb of God you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.”

poster available at lifeposters

       I was sitting in adoration last week and I was freaking out.  I was really stressed out about school and I was worrying about my future (yet another habit I have).  So, I was sitting there in the presence of Jesus Christ and panicking.  It occurred to me that I should take my own advice and lay all my worries at the feet of Jesus.  I decided to write a list of all the fears and worries I have.  After writing a rather extensive list and looking at all my worries on paper I realized how completely ridiculous they were.  A sense of peace washed over me.  I am by no means saying that I was cured of my tendency to worry(I have a huge test on Monday).  What I am saying is that making the list reminded me that my worries are silly, truly inconsequential, and that more importantly, Jesus is the Prince of Peace. 

       In Romans 8:6 it says, “For to set the mind on flesh is death, but to set the mind on the spirit is life and peace.”  We live in such a fast paced world; it seems that as soon as one worry passes another pops up.  Our problem is what we are worrying about.  I am often consumed with financial worries, school worries, career worries, relationship (or lack there of) worries, and the list goes on and on.  These are of the flesh.  These lead to death.

       If I was to truly set my mind on the Spirit, on Jesus, on the Father I would find my life, I would find my peace.  I mean think about it.  Jesus Christ son of the living God came to Earth as a baby grew up into a man and then sacrificed his life for us only to rise from the dead and guarantee us eternal life if we take up our cross and follow him.  Why am I worried about an Econ test?  This life is a blink of an eye in the eternity that I have awaiting me.

       

What are your worries? How do you deal with them? Comments? Suggestions? Questions?