God Moments: This Is My Body

       This past January I was privileged enough to travel with about 70 of my closest friends to Orlando, Fl.  No, we weren't on our way to greet Mickey at the Magic Kingdom (although some did).  No, we were headed down south to join up with thousands of other college students at the FOCUS national conference.

       FOCUS is an incredible college ministry that I am honored to be a part of.  The national conference, SEEK, consisted of a week of daily mass, talks from some of the best Catholic speakers (i.e. Matthew Kelly, Chris Stefanick, Dr. Edward Sri, Matt Fradd, the list goes on and on), and fellowship.

Me, Catherine, and Holly with Chris Stefanick 

       Part of the planned itinerary was confession and group adoration.  As embarrassing as it is to admit, I was not looking forward to this event.  I thought, “Oh great stand in a huge line for confession and then sit all uncomfortable and bored in adoration for two hours.”  So I made up my mind to get to confession right away and miss the line, then go to adoration for an hour tops.

       I arrived early for confession and only had to stand in line for ten minutes, score!(people stood in line for literally hours)  When I was directed to confession I ended up face-to-face with who I am convinced is Jim Gaffigan’s twin brother.  It was a good confession and Father Gaffigan gave me my penance and sent me out into adoration.

       I walked out into the ballroom where adoration was being held and saw thousands of college students horded together.  I looked for my group, found them, and made a beeline to join them all the way in the front(sigh).  The place was so packed that I had to wedge myself in on the floor near the aisle. 

      From my spot on the floor I completed my penance and then sat for a minute wondering how long I should stay in order to not look like a total heathen, leaving after only a few minutes.  While I was planning my escape route I looked around again.

        This time I didn't just see thousands of people crammed together.  This time I saw thousands of my brothers and sisters sitting, standing, kneeling, and prostrating in worship.  I followed their gaze to the stage and for the first time since I entered the room, I really looked at Jesus, I saw him.

       I allowed my thoughts to turn to the conversation I had with my Dad on the way to drop me off for the trip.  My Dad is not Catholic and for the first time I asked him straight out, “why don’t you believe in the Eucharist?”  After some back and forth discussion he ended with this, “I think it is something that has to be revealed to you by the Holy Spirit, and it hasn't been revealed to me yet.”

       Sitting there, uncomfortably crammed on the floor, I asked God to reveal himself to me through the Eucharist and to reveal himself to my Dad.  Now, I have never heard the audible voice of God but sometimes I just know that I hear his heart speaking to mine.  As I sat in this thought, contemplating his presence, confronting any doubts I had God answered at least part of my prayer. Jesus spoke to me very clearly that day, he said, “This is my body, this is really me, if you deny the Eucharist you deny a part of me.  You have been given the gift of knowing the truth and you cannot turn away from it.  Holly, you can’t doubt the Eucharist without also doubting me.”

       So of course, I started crying (it’s a running theme in my life).  Then a multitude of priests began a Eucharistic procession all around the enormous ballroom with the monstrance.  At the very end they stopped right in front of me, being stuck at the edge of the group put me face to face with our LORD and savior.  I gazed at him and he gazed at me.  That, my friends, was a God moment.

      Adoration ended three hours after it began and I found myself wishing it would just go on and on.  What started as me following a schedule and planning a way to escape for a nap turned into one of the most important days of my life.  That day changed how I look at my desires, the mass, my life on Earth, and my ability to hear God.  So, no, I don’t hear the voice of God but when I hear his heart I listen.  

       Have you ever been to adoration?  Do you have any life changing stories from your experiences there? Have you heard the voice of God? Have you heard His heart?  Comments? Suggestions? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below!

Beyond the Shadow of a Doubt

       Today I had a DUH moment.  Jesus is alive.  Even though I guess I knew this I didn't think of it as he is alive right now.  I always thought, "he rose from the dead 2000 years ago and then floated up to Heaven and now he’s there, with all the dead people."  I am not sure why but it didn't really hit me that he is as alive as I am, even more so.  This just shows another hole in my understanding and my faith.

picture via vinodnarayan

       In the first reading today we hear of people laying sick and crippled friends out in the street in hopes that St.Peter’s shadow would touch them.  These people believed that the mere shadow of a man doing God’s work could heal them.  St.Peter was walking around with the same flawed humanity as each of us and healing people in the name of Jesus.  He wasn't divine, but he had faith.  Jesus tells us in the Gospel that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we can move mountains.  We all posses the power to heal people and cure the sick but we lack faith.

       My lack of faith is tied closely with my lack of trust.  Even though intellectually I know that God has the power to do all, faith doesn't live in your head, it lives in your heart.  Many times I will try to do the will of God or hand over a situation to him but in the back of my mind I doubt.  I rely on myself.  I think of plan B in case God doesn't come through.  He always comes through, if you trust him, if you have faith.  Granted, it isn't always coming through in the way you expect or think he "should", but he comes through.

       I don’t know about you but I need to work on letting go and having faith.  Imagine the good works we could accomplish if we all had the faith of St.Peter.

       Do you ever have a God DUH moment?  What did you think of St.Peter’s faith?  Any suggestions on how to to strengthen my faith?  Comments? Suggestions? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below. 

            

We're Off to See the Wizard

       Do you all remember the Wizard of Oz?  Of course you do, if not, spoiler alert.  The characters spend the whole movie on a quest for qualities that the wizard informs them they already have.

      Famously, the cowardly lion was lacking in the courage department until the wizard pinned on a badge of courage and told him that he always possessed it, he just didn't know it.  The same is true for us.  We are cowardly.  How many times have I seen an opportunity to bring Christ up in a conversation or to perform a random act of kindness and been too afraid?  Countless.  We miss out on opportunities to share the Good News of Christ’s love all the time, and for what? Fear.  The most repeated phrases in the Bible are “fear not” and “do not be afraid”, I think God’s message to us is pretty clear.

picture via magvickers

      The thing about our fear is that we have all we need to be courageous, we just don’t know it.  If you have been baptized you have received the Holy Spirit and if you have been confirmed you have received the 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit. One of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is fortitude, or courage.  We possess the gift, it has been given to us, have we bothered to open it?

      How do I open this gift?  That’s how I feel so much of the time.  People tell me to open the gifts of the Holy Spirit and it seems so cliché and nobody knows how actually accomplish the task (not helpful).  So I am going to tell you some ways I try to “open my gifts”.

Bible Study:

        I am not just talking about an organized group study (although those are awesome, shout-out Bible Bombshells!) I am talking about personal reading and reflection.  This is a daunting task for some.  I know that when I decided to try this I had no idea where to start.  A simple way to start is with reading the Gospels, this is where we get to know Jesus in all of his humanity and in all of his divinity.  It is a wonderful way to grow in our relationship with him. Another way to go about studying the Bible is to read the daily mass readings.  I do this on my Laudate app every morning which also provides a reflection to aid in deeper thinking.

       Whichever method you choose I recommend practicing Lectio Divina.  Read through a small passage two or three times, look for words and phrases that stick out, ask why they stick out, look for ways they apply to your life, and open your heart to what Jesus is telling you(don’t resist change). 

Prayer:

       This is another area that I know people can struggle with.  God created us for relationship with him!  That means he wants to talk to us, he wants us to talk to him.  How cool is it that God is interested in what you have to say!  I recently apologized to my Dad after talking his ear off and he replied with, “No, I like it!”  He wanted to know what was going on in my life and what I was thinking about, and he wanted to hear it directly from me.  SO much more so does God want to hear from us.  Just talk to him, it doesn't need to be fancy or scripted.  I remember I used to feel unholy if I prayed in the same style as I speak to my friends.  That is ridiculous.  God is our best friend.  That being said, if you have trouble talking to God on a familiar level right now and need to build a relationship there are a multitude of set prayers.  I suggest starting with The Our Father.  Set aside at least 10 minutes a day just for prayer and chat with God. 

Sacraments:

       The sacraments will be getting their own posts but for right now lets talk Reconciliation and Communion.  First off, Reconciliation has such a bad rep but it is incredible and I highly recommend it.  I especially urge you to go to Reconciliation so that you can enter into communion fully with Christ in the Eucharist.  The Eucharist is the “source and summit” of our Catholic faith.  Jesus Christ has given us the incredible gift to be able to receive him into ourselves physically. WHAT!? I know, stop and think about it and your mind gets blown.  The sacraments give us grace and grace helps us open up our gifts like an over-eager younger sibling. 

       I am sorry that this post has gone longer than usual.  I see fear as the biggest obstacle we face in our quest to fulfill Jesus’ great commission to make disciples of all nations.  The topic deserves time, more than I can provide so I urge you all to think about your own fear, hunt for your gifts, and open them up!

       Do you have an example of fear or an example of courage?  How do you “open” your gifts?  Comments? Suggestions? Questions? 

I've Been Thinking About Your Salvation and Stuff

       Hello readers, I am so sorry I didn't post on Easter but I was so busy celebrating the LORD’s resurrection with my family! What a whirlwind of a weekend.  Holy Week came and went so quickly and there are so many things I could write about but I HAVE to tell you about the most exciting day of my life so far! My best friend and roommate, Holly (yes, we have the same name), was baptized and fully initiated into the Church during the Easter Vigil!!!!! *Hold for applause

Frob and Holly after the Vigil

       Holly was raised Seventh Day Adventist and the tradition of their church is to dedicate infants to the church and to make the personal decision to be baptized when they feel ready.  Holly never did get baptized in the Seventh Day Adventist church
(I am convinced now that God was saving her for a Catholic baptism).  When she came to the University of Maryland last Spring I had already been here for a semester and had formed my core group of friends at the CSC.  When she moved onto campus she began to accompany me to the Catholic Student Center and formed friendships there (and got a boyfriend). 

       She became more and more willing to spend her time at the CSC and I saw her opening herself up to the faith.  Several months ago I was on vacation in Florida when I got a text from Holly that she had decided to be baptized, as a Catholic.  I was overjoyed!  I had never experienced anyone making that decision for themselves and it really inspired me.

       For the last few months I have seen Holly grow in the LORD so much.  I have seen her go trough RCIA and really take a personal and deep interest in her faith and in the Catholic Church.  She now knows more than I do, I am sure.  The beauty is that her fervor only inspires me to take my faith more seriously.

       I will always cherish the moment when Holly told me she couldn't wait for us to be Catholic friends.  It sounded a little bit silly to say out loud but I felt the same way.  We have always been inseparable but now I feel like we can understand and relate to each other in a new deeper and more complete way.  It is such a blessing to me that I can now go to my best friend with my worries, my joys, and my new discoveries and questions about the Church.

        The moment when Holly was baptized was one of the happiest moments of my life and I cannot wait to join her on the rest of her faith journey and have her walk next to me on mine.  I love you Holly and I am blessed to have you as my best friend…

       

       Do you know anyone who got baptized this Easter? Share your experience.  What was your favorite moment/part of Holy Week?  Did you have any new discoveries or come to any new understandings? Comments? Suggestions? Questions?

Sword Swinging and Bible Thumping

       “Then, Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear.”(John 18:10)  I have had so many diverse reactions to this line over the years.  My reactions have ranged from “YEAH! Get ‘em!” all the way to “wow Peter way to be a doofus jerk!”  This year, my reaction was a new one.  This year I thought, “ I've done that”.

       Ok, you caught me I have never chopped a guy’s ear off.  I have, however, seen Jesus being attacked or disrespected and aggressively pounced on his assailants.  This habit had me not-so-affectionately labeled as a Bible Thumper by some classmates in my freshman year of high school.  Our faith is something that is so close to us, so emotionally charged that it is easy to get overwhelmed and bite off someone’s head (or cut off their ear). 

picture via La Vista Church of Christ

       Don’t worry if you are a “Bible Thumper” there is a better way! Jesus, as always, steps in to show us how to properly handle a situation.  Christ sees Peter and tells him to put his sword away. He then leans down to the servant, one of the men leading him to his death, and heals him with a gentle touch. 

       Peter was driven to violence and aggression to protect Jesus.  The problem is that he was missing the point (he kinda had a habit of that).  Jesus is God in human form; that means he is love and is not easily angered.  We see in Jesus’ act of healing that he is not here to condemn even those who persecute him, he is here to love and to heal all. 

       Like Peter, we may be motivated by our desire to protect Jesus.  The only thing is that Jesus doesn't need our protection; we need his.  He has shown us time and time again in the scriptures and in our lives that love is the greatest way to share God with others because God is love.

       So quit the sword swinging and the Bible Thumping.  Share God through love: patience, kindness, honesty, forgiveness, trust, hope, and perseverance.

       Have you ever been a “Bible Thumper” or Bible Thumped? Have you moved past that stage to a deeper understanding?  Do you struggle with loving your enemies?(I do) How do you react/relate to Peter in this passage?  Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Drop me a line in the comments below! 

The Sweet Smell of Sacrifice

           Yesterday morning I woke up, and as is my habit, opened up my Laudate app on my iPhone to read the daily readings.  The Gospel reading was the story of Mary anointing Jesus’ feet with perfume and drying them with her hair (John 12:1-11).  This biblical account has captured my attention before because the scene seemed so bizarre to me, but yesterday something new caught my attention.

picture via
the Panama United Methodist Church

            The third verse of this passage was what really stood out to me, “Then Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil made from genuine aromatic nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair; the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.” To me the part about the house being filled with the scent at first seemed superfluous, like it was a disposable detail.  However, I have come to know that nothing is included in the Bible for no reason so I reflected more deeply on this line. 

           This is the conclusion I came to; Mary had just poured out her most precious and prized possession onto Jesus’ feet and humbled herself to dry his feet with her hair (touching a man’s foot with my hair is something I would only do if I was 100% sure he was God).  Like Mary we are called to pour ourselves out, empty our most precious talents, skills, and time onto Jesus.  This is incredibly hard for us, we are living in the midst of an “it’s all about me” society.  We are taught in school that a big-shot career and six-figure pay check are the ultimate goals we should be working towards, laboring over, sacrificing for.  That is simply not the case (sorry UMD I do not want to be a CEO).

            When Mary was doing this incredibly humble and difficult and kind of scandalous/embarrassing act, her surroundings were completely filled with the sweet smell of perfume.  Everyone in that house benefited from Mary’s act of sacrifice and service, even if they were judging her harshly for it (ahem, Judas).  The same is true for us.  While the world may judge us for using our gifts in a way set apart from expectations all will benefit from our sacrifice.  The world will be made sweeter by your personal sacrifices, whether it supports them or not.

            Yes, it is difficult to pour out our most valuable treasures but when we empty ourselves to Jesus we give the world a gift, and God will never be outdone in generosity.

          

            In what ways do you pour out your gifts? Is there anything that stuck out to you in a reading recently?  Comments? Suggestions? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below! 

Life's a Beach

Nothing renews and deepens my faith in God like a day at the beach.  If you have been following this blog you know that I spent the last week in Florida on Spring Break.  If not, I spent the last week in Florida on Spring Break! The beach never fails to place me in a state of awe at the power of the LORD, our God and our creator. 

I recently got the App PicStitch
which allows me to collage my pictures! LOVE!

            There are so many parts of a day at the beach that connect me with God.  First of all, the sheer beauty of the waves, sand, shells, and sun.  When I stand (or more likely sit) by the water’s edge I cannot help but marvel at the glorious imagination of our creator.  He designs each wave and colors every seashell.  He can count the sands on the shore and has promised to make his kingdom more plentiful.  WOW!  One of the most interesting statements I have heard made about atheism is this: What a sad existence it is to stand at the edge of the ocean and be overcome with a sense of gratitude but have absolutely no one to thank.  Well, what a blessing that we have an artist to praise for the beauty of his work.

            While I observe the beauty and majesty of the water I realize my relative size.  I am puny in relation to the Gulf of Mexico and less than microscopic in relation to the universe as a whole.  Yet despite my seemingly insignificant size I have all the significance in the world because I am a daughter of God.  WOW! How incredible is it to look at the beauty and size of the beach and to be thankful to God for putting such detail into this glorious picture; then to remember that he loves us infinitely more than he loves the beach?  All of the work and planning that went into creating the magnificent picture in front of me is barely a fraction of the love and planning that went into creating me!  Praise the LORD!

            Finally, the beach allows for time to relax, read, and reflect.  I reach many insights while sitting quietly on the seashore.  I see the couples and families surrounding me and think about my future.  I pray for my future husband and children (because my mind always goes there).  I pray about why the LORD has chosen to give me this season of singlehood and ask him to help me fulfill my purpose.  By the beach I take a baby step towards trusting God.   He has a plan for me greater than the seven seas.  WOW!  What an honor we all have, that our life, before it came into existence had a purpose. 

            There is so much to be learned from a day at the beach.  As they say life’s a beach, so pull up Adirondack chair and take notes!  

            Where do you make your best insights?  What is your favorite part of the beach? What have you learned about God while on vacation? Comments? Suggestions? Questions?  Drop me a line in the comments below!