FOCUS Factor

            I want to spend some time today talking to you about FOCUS.  FOCUS is the Fellowship of Catholic University Students.  This organization is a network of US missionaries working on college campuses across the country sharing the Gospel and teaching students to do the same. 

I could write for hours about how amazing FOCUS is and everything it has done for me, but what I really want to talk about today is their “win, build, send” model of evangelization. Let’s start with evangelization itself; I am not talking about harassing neighbors with 30 yr old pamphlets (although talking to strangers is an important aspect).  I am talking about letting the Gospel of the LORD shine through you and explaining it explicitly when necessary.  FOCUS follows Christ’s lead and evangelizes through friendship.  Jesus came to Earth and chose 12 friends to invest a large amount of time in, he calls us to do the same (not necessarily 12, just invest). 

First step, win.  This is when you meet someone at work or in class (or anywhere) and you find things in common with them.  You begin to become friends with them.  This is the get to know you period of a friendship.  During the “win” phase of your friendship you should be just getting to know the other person, hanging out with them, doing things they enjoy, building trust.

Second step, build.  To me this is the fun part.  The “build” part of a friendship is what lasts forever this is when you begin to navigate your conversations deeper.  You open discussion up to important issues and you share the Gospel with the other person.  You ask and answer questions that really matter.  This is the part of a friendship when you encourage one another to grow in faith and help one another to learn more about the faith.  You may read spiritual books together and discuss them.  You may research a topic in the faith that still presents questions.  You may just talk.  You definitely pray together.  During this part of deeper friendship you obviously continue the “win” behavior.  This is after all a real friendship.

Finally, send.  This is when whoever you have been building the relationship with starts to take initiative to form Christ centered friendships in their own life. 

When your friend begins to make their own friendships in order to share the Gospel, then you have arrived in the “send” phase.  Just because you are in the “send” phase doesn't mean you are done.  This is a lifelong friendship that is centered on Christ and you continue with the "win" and "build" behavior (a.k.a. be friends!).  These relationships are open, honest, and loving.  Ideally, all of our friendships would follow this model.

 When I started with FOCUS last year and this model was presented to me I felt uncomfortable making friends just to share the Gospel.  I felt like it was somehow fake or shallow.  With some friendly hints from my discipler, Mary, I realized that making friends in order to share Jesus is the most genuine reason we can have.  It almost makes it seem like any other reason for making friends isn't sufficient.  I can honestly say that the friendships I have in which Christ is the center are the relationships where I can most be myself.

FOCUS leaders at UMD
also some of my very best friends

 How do you evangalize? What do you think of this model for evangelization?  What kind of faith building activities do you do with your friends?  Have you ever heard of FOCUS?  Comments? Questions? Suggestions?  Guys, my comments box is really lonely! Drop me a line in the Comments below! 

To Bikini or Not To Bikini

Topshop suit available at
Nordstom 

            To Bikini or not to bikini, that is the question! (thank you Biz for the tag line)  But seriously, this is a really important question, and now that it is Summer it needs an answer.  Today I read an article from Made in His Image about “The Bikini Question.”

            I liked the article and I thought that it presented some really good points.  However, what I didn't like is that the author’s reasoning seemed to be focused on males.  I am in full agreement that we as women have a responsibility to protect the virtue of men, but I think that is not the only reason to be modest.  I have recently made the decision to only wear bikinis while swimming at my aunts’ pool or while on vacation with my family.  Honestly, my decision didn't really consider protecting men.

Bikes & Stripes suit available
at Anthropologie 

            I have a rule that boys are not allowed in the room where my bed is.  During the past two years this room has been my dorm.  Some of my guy friends give me a hard time about it, they don’t see the big deal.  To me, it seems like if I let them into my room I am making myself too vulnerable to them.  Not like I think that they will jump me or anything, but I don’t like the idea of a guy having a clear picture of my bed in his mind.  I have this theory that if a guy doesn't know what my bed looks like, if he hasn't experienced my bedroom, than it is harder for him to picture me in bed (and more importantly harder to picture himself in my bed).  That may seem completely ridiculous to some, but to me it makes sense. Some things are just private. In the same way I don’t want to aid a guy in picturing me in my underwear (which is what wearing a bikini does).

            A relatively recent study has shown that when men see a woman in a bikini the part of the brain for

Tulle Bandeau Tank available
at J.Crew 

handling tools lights up.  I don’t know about the rest of you but I am not into being used as a tool.  Just like you should dress for the job you want and not the job you have, so you should dress for the man you want.  The way that you present yourself attracts a certain type of attention.  If you present yourself as an object (or just a body) you are more likely to be viewed that way; if you present yourself as a whole person you are more likely to be viewed that way.

            The decision to go exclusively modest in mixed company was easy to make for myself; I personally think that one-pieces are more flattering, but I know that many girls struggle with the choice.  Let’s look at some common reasons girls give for putting off the switch to modest.

1. Bikinis are cuter!:  bikinis are cute, I won’t deny it.  I have some really cute ones that I wear with my

   

   Bandeau Keyhole suit available
   at Old Navy

   family.  However, that does not mean that all one-pieces are puritan potato sacks. 
2. Modest bathing suits are too expensive!:  affordable suits are out there!   I have found some really cute ones at Old Navy, Macy’s, and JC Penny.  It may take a little bit of looking but the effort is worth it.
3. Guys don’t have to wear shirts, it isn't fair!: guys bodies are built differently than women’s.  I will say, men don’t wear speedos (mankinis).  I think most of us can agree that we prefer a little left to the imagination. 
4. They make me attractive!: to who?  Who is it that you want to attract that will not be just as attracted to you in a one piece? Also, I repeat, one-pieces are often more flattering.

          So, this is a tricky and emotionally charged topic that will be up for debate until the end of time I have no doubt.  For me, the decision is made. What will you do?

         What is your opinion on the bikini question?  I really want to hear from you on this!  Where do you get your modest suits?  Can any of you give me a counterargument?   Comments? Questions? Suggestions? 

One Direction

       This year has been a year of change for the Church.  The election of Pope Francis has caused much talk amongst and about the Church and where it is heading.  However, the direction of the Church is not up to Pope Francis (don’t be so shocked).  The direction of the Church is up to the Church, which means it is up to every baptized man, woman, and child.

pic via The Riches of Proverbs 

       The beauty of God is that he is the same today, yesterday, and everyday.  While many people complain that the teachings of the Church are outdated and irrelevant that is simply not true.  God is truth and truth is never changing.  The Church teaches the truth; therefore the Church’s teachings cannot change with the times.  However, the Church itself, and how it is portrayed and how it functions can change.   We, as members of the Church Jesus began, have a responsibility to share the truth of the Church in our everyday actions and interactions. 

       When we are baptized into the Catholic faith we are baptized priest, prophet, and king.  That means that we are all called to minster to people, share the Gospel, and lead.  We are all called to greatness.  We are called to be lights in the darkness. 

       So stop underestimating yourself!  The idea that I can't cause a change has been and sometimes still is a lie that I believe.  So many of us believe that we are too small to make a difference in the Church; that we will not have a lasting impact. That is simply not true, just by changing your own way of living to more closely reflect that of Christ, you are changing the Church.  Just by not being afraid to tell your friends that you are going to mass or Bible study, you are changing the Church.  Just by doing some spiritual reading and reflection on your own or with friends, you are changing the Church.  We have the power to impact lives, starting with our own, but by no means confined to our own. 

When I was a little girl in Catholic school we used to sing a song:

       “God made the world and it was good
         He made it out of nothing
         He’s the only one who could
         He put it all together just the way that it should be

         And he left the rest up to you and me”

       So let us accept the challenge and the responsibility that has been awarded to us by God.  Let us take the world by storm and move the Church closer to Christ.  You (that’s right, you) have the power and the opportunity to change the Church.  No, our teachings don’t change with the times, because God doesn't change with the times, but a change certainly needs to take place in our hearts.  The change Christ is calling us to make is not to move away from the current teachings but rather to move closer to them.  To quote Matthew Kelly, “there is nothing wrong in the Church that can not be fixed by what is right in the Church.”  So I challenge each and every one of you to begin with yourself and harness what is right in the Church and change what is wrong.  

       What do you think about the direction of the Church?  How can we change it for the better?  What are some practical ways you try and move the Church closer to God?  Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Drop me a line in the comments below!

Apples and Oranges

             Comparison is the thief of joy.  This simple saying is one of the most challenging truths I have faced myself with recently.  As a young woman, in the media saturated society in which I exist, comparison is occurring in my mind almost constantly.  This week several of the readings deal with comparison and envy either explicitly or implicitly. 

lacking the body of Kate Upton
and love life of Cinderella or Allie
doesn't make me a cat lady

            Envy is not only wanting good for yourself but resenting the good of others.  If you really think about that, about this sin that I am guilty of on a regular basis, it is really a shameful act.  We are called to love one another and love is never jealous; love is wanting and doing what is best for the other person at all times.  Comparison is the thief of joy and envy is the thief of love.

            I spend my days, like many girls my age, watching chick flicks, listening to pop music, reading Nicholas Sparks type books, building my expectations unattainably high, and crying myself to sleep because I am a spinster at the ripe old age of 20 (OK, I’m not that bad…most of the time).  I look at other girls who seem to have it all together and I see only what I lack and I dig myself into a hole of misery.  I ignore all the good in my own life, and the beauty of joy in the lives of others.  I allow comparison to steal my joy.

            On Tuesday in the Gospel the apostles are arguing amongst themselves about which is the greatest.  Jesus says to them, “If anyone wishes to be first, he shall be the last of all and the servant of all.”  These men were best friends arguing over which one of them was the greatest. Even when I look at girls and women who are my friends and whom I admire, envy still pricks my heart.  I find it hard to be completely and undividedly happy for another person.  Even as I typed that sentence I hadn't realized how true that is.  I can’t really remember the last time I heard about something fabulous happening to another person and I didn't even have the thought cross my mind that I was somehow outdone.  That really is sad.  I am happy for other people’s successes I am not saying that I am some heartless “mean girl” who wants to rule the world and be queen bee, but I am saying that I have an irrational fear of not being the best.  The best at what? Who is the best?  Will I ever be the best?  Is there even such a thing as “the best”?   

            This is what I really love about this blog you guys, it gives me a chance to examine myself.  I want to change, I want to be happy, for myself, and for others.  So yes, comparison is the thief of joy.  My challenge is to overcome the temptation to compare myself to others.  I am who I am, you are who you are, we are children of God, brothers and sisters of Christ, and that my friends is not only good enough: it is the best! 

             Do any of you share my fear of not being #1?  How do you curb your temptations to compare?  What is going on in your life? I would really love to hear from some of you! Comments? Questions  Suggestions?  Drop me a line in the comments below!

The Facts of Life

       I have spent the last several days staying with my sister and her new baby and organizing myself for the Summer.   In that time, I became so distracted with enjoying the beauty around me that I didn't post.  I apologize for that but I have realized something through this blog (and my mother’s advice) and that is to live and enjoy the life God gave me.  So, while I am sorry that I haven’t posted I am so happy that God gave me a great chance to enjoy the fullness of life in this past week.  

       While spending time at my sister’s house with my mom, niece, and brother-in-law I learned some valuable life lessons. 

1. Let people help you:  Life is hard!  We all know that and most of us try to deal with it by pushing harder to succeed on our own.  We may cry out to God for help, but we often ignore the help that he sends us (have you heard the story of the man on a boat?).  We have been given to one another in order to serve and support each other, allow others to help you!
2. Enjoy the little things:  My sister is doing a wonderful job of slowing down her life and just being with her daughter.  I learned from her that even in unpleasant circumstances you can find beauty and appreciate God’s miracles.  Even at 2:30 am when she has to wake up and feed her little baby, she smiles.  She looks at that fussing bundle with pure joy and love.
3. Every lifestyle has it’s challenges:  I just finished up being a student for the year and I was constantly stressed about schoolwork.  I kept thinking, "just make it until the Summer and then it will all be easy." Then, I stayed with my sister who is currently living my dream and I realized that I don’t know a whole lot about a whole lot.  Now, I’m home and have taken on the cooking for my house and am trying to take some responsibility from my parents so they can slow down this Summer too.  There is a LOT to do in order to keep a household running smoothly.  Basically, I have learned that life doesn't get easier the challenges just change.  We have been given the grace to offer up our challenges and use our hardships to Praise the LORD and join in the carrying of his cross.

       So, I am sorry I haven’t been posting consistently and I am trying to improve that, but I also want to enjoy the life God has given me.  I encourage all of you to do the same.  Recognize that we all struggle because that’s life, but Jesus came so that we could have life and have it to the fullest! 

       What challenges are you facing in your life?  What are your plans for the Summer?  What are some life lessons you can share with me?  Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Drop me a line in the comments below!

CYC Ya Soon!

       I am feeling so loved right now.  So loved that it is overpowering the stress I have been feeling.  Today I worked my last shift at the Center for Young Children until next Fall.  I was done working right at the end of nap-time so all of the kids were just waking up.  I went to a few of the kids who I had really bonded with and told them that I wouldn't see them again until the Fall. There reactions were so bittersweet.

The CYC is pictured above
Jesus and I are below

       One little girl was still drowsily lying on her cot when I told her to get up and give me a hug!  She stayed on her cot lying down until I said, “I am going home for the summer I don’t get to see you until next year!” at which point she bolted up, looped her arms around my neck, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.  I told her to be a good girl and finish up her cot jobs (the kids' wake-up routine).  She went back to her work and told me goodbye.

       My favorite little boy (I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but I can’t help it) came and sat on my lap.  He asked me where I was going.  He wanted to know why I had to leave for a WHOLE season.  I told him I was going to go and spend the summer with my parents, he said, “oh no you aren't ” and grabbed my finger, “I gotcha!”  I told him I had to leave and would be back in the Fall when he was bigger.  He replied, “I’m going to die!”  After assuring him that he wouldn't die while I was away he decided that instead of dying he would become a grownup like me over the summer.

       What a gift God has given us in children.  These little people are able to express themselves fully because they aren't censored my social norms and complicated taboos.  They love purely and share their love without holding back.  It is no wonder that Jesus encouraged us to have the faith of a child.  Walking out the door my heart broke a little because I knew the next time I saw these kids they would be a little bit older and a little bit farther along the journey of life.  I wondered when it became inappropriate to crawl into the lap of someone I loved.  When do we become too big to offer up pure love to people we don’t have romantic feelings for?   When do we cross that line from childhood into adulthood? 

      I decided that there isn't a straight line that we cross; growing up is like climbing a mountain.  It is gradual, difficult, fun, and when you get to the top you enjoy the beauty of the view and know that the climb was totally worth it.  The beauty of scaling the mountain with Jesus at your side is that he doesn't mind if you want to climb into his lap.  We are forever his children and we are free to love him without holding back, and he returns the favor! 

       When do you think childhood ends?  Have you experienced overpowering love?  What does it mean to have the faith of a child?  Comments? Questions? Suggestions?  Drop me a line in the comments below!

Whoa Mama!

my beautiful mother
with the pride of the Chesapeake 

       When my Mom was pregnant with me it was discovered that I had a hole in my heart.  The doctors told my parents that there was a good chance I would be mentally retarded.  At that point, “terminating the pregnancy” was offered to my parents as a “solution”.  I am so blessed that my mother (and father) was courageous enough to continue with the pregnancy and allow me to live in whatever state the LORD delivered me.

       On Mother’s Day I am reminded of the beauty of life and the courage of every mother.  I am reminded of how my mother chose to give me  life and give me a high quality of life no matter my abilities.  I am reminded of how much I want to one day be a mother myself and how I hope to be as wonderful as my own mother.  I am reminded of the risks and the sacrifices my mother took in giving me life and raising me.  I am reminded of the love that I feel every time I call  and hear my Mom’s voice or walk in the door of my home.

       So, thank you God for giving me a mother who loves you.  Thank you Mom for choosing life, teaching me the faith, and inspiring me to be the best I can be.  For all of those Moms out there Happy Mother’s Day and thank you for choosing life.  For those mothers out there suffering after an abortion, my heart and prayers go out to you, Project Rachel offers help and healing for post-abortive couples. Thank you Mary for saying yes to life.  Thank you Jesus for making life worth living.

       

Do you have any stories about your mom? Do you need help healing after an abortion?  Are you in a crisis pregnancy? (I can offer prayers and help locate resources).  Happy Mother’s Day! Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Drop me a line in the line below!

First World Problems

            If you are ever having a bad day or if you are stuck in a rut, go hang out with a religious sister.  That is what I learned last night.  I have been going through kind of a funk the past few weeks.  I have been struggling with some anxiety and just not really feeling connected to God like I usually do.  Last night, however, two CFR sisters came to speak at the CSC about poverty.  The pure joy that exuded from these women who live purely for God was truly inspirational.

            Poverty is not the sort of topic that you would expect to lift one’s spirits, but it really struck me how fortunate I am.  We watched a short film, Child 31, which put a spotlight on children in poverty and their lack of education and food.  Here I am sitting on a college campus freaking out about classes and complaining about wanting a snack.  How ungrateful am I?  I watched this video and saw the numbers of kids dying grow minute by minute and took a look at how much I take for granted.   I felt the pain of knowing, not only that children are dying all across the globe, but that after the video ended I would go and check my iPhone and watch a movie on a big screen sitting on a couch under a warm blanket.  I felt simultaneously overwhelmed by guilt and incredibly blessed. 

            I realized that worrying about anything is ridiculous.  We are in God’s care, he has chosen to put me in this place and time for a reason and I can trust him with my future. He will provide for me and I can help provide for others.  ^“Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” Matthew 6:26.

            Have you ever encountered a religious sister? What was your experience like?  How do you feel about poverty and how we can impact it? Do you have suggestions on how to live more simply?  Suggestions? Comments? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below!

            

Of Love, From Love, For Love

            Have you ever considered the Trinity?  I always found it extremely difficult to understand that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are three distinct beings yet a single being at the same time.   Then someone explained to me that the Father and the Son exist in giving of themselves fully to one another and the love between them is the Holy Spirit (this is easily transferred into a metaphor for marriage and family).  I absolutely love that idea; God himself is love.

I like the use of shamrocks to illustrate the Trinity
because the leaves are shaped like hearts(also Ireland)
picture via Can You Dig It?

            What is almost as wonderful as God being love itself is the fact that we are made in his image.  Have you ever noticed that in Genesis when God creates man he says, “let us create man in our image.”?  I didn't notice this for a really long time.  When it was brought to my attention the use of the plural was being used in an argument for polytheism.  I obviously was not swayed by said argument but it did get me thinking.  Through my reflection, and later priestly confirmation, I realized that the plural was used because God in all three persons have existed in eternity.  Even though I had usually pictured God the Father out there in nothingness by himself he was there with the Son and the Holy Spirit, because they are one.  Jesus wasn't just created when Mary became pregnant.  The Holy Spirit wasn't just created at Pentecost. 

            So what does all of this mean?  What difference does it make that God is three in one and always has been?  Well, if we are really made in their image then we are made in the image of love itself.  That is such a beautiful truth. Take just a minute or two reflect on that fact, YOU are created in the image of love itself.   I think this is especially important for people from broken homes to understand.  I am so blessed to have parents who love each other (their 30^th wedding anniversary is this year), but we are not all so fortunate.  However, just because your parents may not love each other does NOT mean that you were not created out of love.  The LORD created all of us and he did so because he loves us and always has and always will. 

            If we are from love and in the image of love then what does that mean in our life?  It means that we have it in us to love, even on the days when we feel incapable.  We were created for love and relationship.  God is love; God is a relationship.  Isn't

 that mind blowing!  God created us to have a loving relationship with him.

            Do you think that this knowledge will encourage you to love more?  How do you love those around you?  What do you think of the trinity?  Suggestions? Comments? Questions? Drop me a line in the comments below!